Recognizing When Your Friend Is Using You


What kind of friend do you see yourself as?  Loyal, helpful?  Dependable, generous?  Perhaps you are all of these attributes and more.  Many of us, like myself, go above and beyond when it comes to those that we care about and are friends with.  Because of the fact that we are so reliable, we are usually the first ones that our friends run to first, when something is going wrong.  They see us as that first line of defense when it comes to getting the help that they need.

It might not be easy to admit, we also have those friends that don’t do the same for us.

Just sit back and think of that person who will only look for you when they need something.  But whenever you actually need help, this guy or girl will always have an excuse not to be able to be there for you.  They may not even answer your calls at all, even though they are quick to say you ignore them at times.  There is always something that stops them from making you the same priority that you have made them.  They tend to manipulate your time whenever your together, so that they get what they want while whatever you want to bring up is secondary and not acknowledged at all.

Regardless of how bad they treat you, you continue to act as a “good friend” would, because that’s how you genuinely are.  You pray that your friend will recognize all that you do for them, and hope that they will change and start to give the same effort back.  But, they never do.  Your friendship takes a toll on you, and makes you feel drained.  And when they don’t contact you at all because they don’t need anything from you, you feel hurt, used and unimportant.

I have realized through relationships like these that when you want to feel loved and accepted by others, you may make yourself more vulnerable to such emotional abuse.   When you are lonely, people tend to see that and can take advantage of it.  People who look out only for themselves will take any opportunity to get more out of you when they can.  If you have any friends that only want to see you, speak to you or spend time with you, only in order to get something out of you – whether it be money, sex or time, then perhaps you should start to reevaluate these so called friends (and family in many cases).  I know that I am.  I realized this just last night, when someone asked me for a favor, but refused to drive across a short parking lot to pick me up in order to get it ( while I was out in the cold, still very sick with Acute Bronchitis).  At that moment, I felt as though they did not care about me or my well-being at all.  So, make note of such actions like that from your “friends.”  If you don’t, you may just continue to get walked on time and time again, and none of us deserve that kind of treatment at all.


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